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The Facebook Song

28 Aug

I found this at a new blog I chanced upon the other day, weaving the web, run by the beweaver (and I couldn’t tell you what trail I was following or where I launched from, it was just one of those serendipitous “clicky” days). Marvin and Nicole are always posting interesting YouTube musical finds on their blogs, so I thought I’d get into the swing with this contribution.

I think this is the best YouTube song of all time, but I might have to change the rating of my blog from PG to X!

Sign10

A Pleasant Rediscovery

10 Aug

You know how one friend introduces you to another friend who in turn introduces you to a third friend and so forth?  And we all know the web is called the web because one website leads you to another website which leads you to a third and ad infinitum.  One website I found through a combination of these two occurrences is The Dirty Disher, which used to be a celebrity gossip blog written by a very witty woman who I discovered through (the)Jebbica, a witty young woman in her own right who is also a part-time professional reviewer/celebrity gossip, a part-time model in Chattanooga, TN and a friend of fellow HAE-sufferer, Red’s Dirty Laundry, who is also a model in Chattanooga, TN.  Such synchronicity!

These three lovely ladies have been on my blogroll for eons, but time being what it is, which is limited, I’ve rather lost track of The Dirty Disher and (the)Jebbica.  When I updated the look of the blog, I figured I’d better check my blogroll and make sure everyone was still around, and hence this post.

One of the things I particularly liked about The Dirty Disher’s blog was the occasional posts she’d do about her personal life – they were pithy and funny, and I liked them much better than the snarky celebrity posts, but only primarily because I didn’t even know who most of the celebrities were.

I’m happy to report that The Dirty Disher has gotten out of the dirty dishing business and is all the better for it.  What she wrote about only occasionally is now the mainstay butter-and-bread of her blog and it is delicious!

From pictures of her garden (vegetable and floral) to anecdotes about her bizarre family (such as “Two Loons and a Chainsaw”) to sharing her thoughts about movies and books, Pat’s (or “DD” as she is still called) posts are filled with heartfelt, straight from the cuff, hold-the-bullshit built-in reality.  Her storytelling ability is well developed and exhibits a combination of mental reminiscing interlaced with the well-rehearsed round-the-fire-at-midnight qualities of a bard.

You simply must check out The Dirty Disher, but be warned, No Trolls allowed!  I think as rules go, that’s a perfectly reasonable one; those little dolls are creepy.

No Trolls

Funnie “Raincoats”

16 Feb

Squeaky clean fun for adults; thanks, Maddy!

Perfect Cover Letter for 2009

13 Feb

Have you been caught up (or is that “caught with your pants down”?) by the current “economic stagnation” (i.e., the recession train speeding towards depression) and are you out looking (i.e., scrounging, begging, lying, or stealing) for a job?  Well, here’s the perfect cover letter for your newly updated, padded, gilded and minted resume.  I received it by e-mail last week, which makes me a Six-Legged Toad (but only if I actually had a job to hock (I wish!)).

Your Street Address
Your City, State and Zip
Month Day, Year




Name of Person
Name of Company
Their Street Address
Their City, State and Zip

Dear Human Resources Person (aka Six-legged Toad from Another Planet), Head Moron in Charge of Hiring and All Around Nasty Person Inundated with 100,000 Letters Just Like This One (Except On Nicer, Colored Paper),

Due to the economic turndown, which we’ve all been reading about in the paper (which I can’t afford anymore) and watching on the TV news (which costs electricity I can’t afford either), I recently lost my job and I’m blindly sending out 200 unsolicited e-mails and letters each and every day to fat toads just like you, who (just like you) could care less about my situation and will either blindly throw my resume into the trash without even looking at it or will hire an illegal Mexican who will work for yesterday’s leftover refried beans from the dumpster.

I’m an older, non-minority white male worker, skilled in many ways (one of which is not sending out resumes, so please excuse my attached resume not being in the correct Harvard School of Resume format). I know that’s a fuck-up on my part, but I don’t give a shit at this time since you won’t read it anyway. I’m a highly trained professional and have been using AutoCAD 2002 for the past 7 years.  I know it’s not the most current version of AutoCAD (I’ve never used the newest version; I also can’t do 3D, which seems to be the ‘in’ thing now, nor do I know anything about Revit, MS Word, Excel, GIS mapping, laser-guided missile systems or anything really, really mechanical or highly technical only a junior astronaut would know), but on the bright side, I can sit quietly in my assigned cubbie, not bother anyone, and still get my assigned projects finished.

I’m willing to relocate, but I don’t do snow infested states.  I’m old, and did I mention cranky?  Of course, relocating to your company location would cost me a lot of money, which (have I mentioned this before?) I don’t have, and I’m sure since you have 400 baskets full of resumes from people begging for a job (just the way I’m doing), you’re not willing to help with relocation expenses (which I must say is very kind of you).  I’d have to sell my house in a down market, thus losing more money, but hey, what’s money between friends, right?  I’ll just get a big fat mortgage and go into debt way over my head.

I am, of course, willing to work for minimum wage and will accept a job with no health-care benefits, no dental plan, and no 401(k) plan because, after all, I’m so desperate I’ll take any shithole job that’s offered in the next day or two, thus erasing everything I’ve achieved over the last twenty years.  Gee, I sure do hope we can be friends, let’s do lunch.

I look forward to hearing from you soon, but since I know you won’t even bother to take the time to blow me off, I’m already moving on to the next jerk-off company listed alphabetically on the Internet.  I hope you get downsized, too.

Ciao.





Your Name

Enclosure

National unemployment stands at 6.6% as of the end of 2008 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, up from 4.6% the end of 2007.  The snarkiness and fun has only just begun.

Red-Headed Daughter

5 Jan

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician.

“Doctor,” the man said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair.  She can’t possibly be mine!!”

“Nonsense,” the doctor said.  “Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.”

“It isn’t possible,” the man insisted.  “This can’t be; our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “Let me ask you this.  How often do you have sex?”

The man seemed a bit ashamed.  “I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.”

“Well, there you have it!” the doctor said confidently.

“It’s rust.”

Ah, come on!  That’s damn funny!

Thanks, Sand.

Palin Got Punked

2 Nov

I can’t decide if Palin had a nightmare or if Palin is a nightmare! Either way, no way can we let this woman anywhere near the White House.  She will be this country’s worst nightmare if we do.


Undecided Voters – A Sly Perspective

25 Oct

I think you will enjoy this essay about undecided voters by David Sederis that appeared in the New Yorker; an excerpt appears below:

“Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

Then you’ll see this man or woman- someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

And here is Sedonis on Letterman, reading one of his essays on men’s accessories:

Digg!

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