The Absurdities of Life

27 Apr

My friend, Susan, sent me this email today:

Food for thought:

  • Only in America…do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in America…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in America…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • Only in America…do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • Only in America…do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Do you ever wonder:

  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouths closed?
  • Why you never see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  • Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  • Why doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why the man who invests all your money is called a “broker”?
  • Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called “rush hour”?
  • Why there is no mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why Noah didn’t swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • Why they don’t make the whole airplane out of the same stuff used to make those indestructible black boxes?
  • Why sheep don’t shrink when it rains?
  • Why they are called “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?

Made me chuckle; thanks, Sue!

2 Responses to “The Absurdities of Life”

  1. gt281 April 28, 2011 at 3:17 PM #

    Har-de-har-har—Susan, a woman after my own chocolate covered dwarf toes…

    • Faerie♥Kat April 28, 2011 at 11:28 PM #

      Hmmm, I’m feeling nibblish…..could you chop one of those off and send it on down here, Puff-express?

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: