Trying Not to Cry — And Failing

1 Dec

Okay, so I’m having a migraine and pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) symptoms, either one of which are enough to make me wish I were dead, let alone produce tears, and which make me more emotionally susceptible, and I keep reminding myself that whole idea behind my Etsy boutique was to to try and recoup the material costs I spent entertaining myself making the baubles while I was house-bound.  So why do I have drippy, salty wet stuff welling up and spilling over my bottom eyelids?   Could it be because I spent hours and hours, and more money, to participate in the Etsy holiday weekend sale promotions and didn’t sell one darn thing?  You betcha.  These are tears of frustration.  I’ve been working that boutique as diligently and putting as much effort into the whole endeavor as I put into my professional career where I earned $75.00 an hour, and I’m not even paying myself to do this!  I’m supposed to be avoiding stress and here I am duplicating $75.00 an hour stress and losing money doing it.  Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture?  Now that I think about it, I’m surprised I’m not hysterical and in an ambulance on my way to the hospital.

There was a reason I worked on the purchasing end of business, and not the selling; I apparently suck at selling and making money, whereas I was a champ at buying and spending.

15 Responses to “Trying Not to Cry — And Failing”

  1. pixie December 1, 2009 at 3:48 AM #

    HUGS for you! I find it quite coincidental that I just found you on twitter yesterday, and find this post from your today … I think the faeries led me to you 🙂

    I suffer the same .. for over 25 years. In Sept a Dr started me on a once a day hormone, and let me tell you – its been the most amazing 3 months of my 25 yrs. Im not cured by any means, but .. Ive gone through this PMDD crap every 21 days. Crying meltdowns, hurting, failing, migraines ( 1 the week before, 1 the day I start and 1 the week after ) misery … and all that has been drastically minimalized! My “levels” were all normal during “test” but She prescribed them anyways and it has made a world of difference. There are many to try and everything works different for everyone .. but its at least something to talk to your Dr about. You shouldnt suffer the the next 40-50 yrs of your life!

    smiles for your day ~ Good Luck! Feel better! pixie ~

    • Faerie♥Kat December 1, 2009 at 8:44 AM #

      Faerie Greetings, Pixie!

      Thanks for the information, but I have a life threatening hereditary blood deficiency (called Hereditary Angio Edema (HAE)) that precludes the use of hormones, which highly exacerbate my HAE condition.

      I saw you were following my Tweets, but that your tweets were protected and so I couldn’t follow yours. I’m not a tweet genius, but would love to get to know anyone named Pixie on the simple ground of mutual faerie adoration!

      Faerie Blessings,


  2. Saje December 1, 2009 at 5:56 AM #

    Sorry you’re feeling blue, Kat. I’m sorry things didn’t go the way you hoped today. A full moon is right around the corner. Perhaps you could ask for what you feel you need to get through this time. I wish there was something I could do to lift your spirits, but just know that there is someone in this corner of the world thinking of you and wishing you well. Hugs!

    • Faerie♥Kat December 1, 2009 at 8:47 AM #

      Thanks, Saje; you’re a sane voice and a kind one — sorry I’ve been so busy (as in too busy) and haven’t visited you in a while. I wish I could get your posts via Feed Blitz, but since you set the up password protection, your blog feed is blocked from such nifty devices. Not that I’m keeping up with all my Feed Blitz email notices either (sigh), but I’m at least scanning them quickly when I get the chance. I’ve missed our spirited discussions. Hugz, Kat

  3. Marvin December 1, 2009 at 7:02 AM #

    Awwww I’m sorry you didn’t sell anything. Really, it’s not that you didn’t sell anything, it’s that the purchasers in this lousy market didn’t buy anything. Sales were flat compared to last year, for the post-Thanksgiving sales, so everyone suffered. I’m sorry you’re suffering more. You’re right to remember that you make these lovely things to entertain yourself, and selling them is a bonus. But you do sound clinically depressed. Can you get outside for some sun and fresh air? Or as pixie says, maybe some hormone therapy? I know you’ll feel better soon.

    • Faerie♥Kat December 1, 2009 at 8:56 AM #

      As Audrey Hepburn said in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, “I’ve got the mean blues.” And I’ve been clinically depressed all my life — it comes prepackaged with Hereditary Angio Edema (HAE) — no opt out option available. Fortunately, I did opt out of the extra, what-a-deal, no-cost add-on bi-polar disorder and early dementia package (whew!). Yesterday just sucked big time, so today I get to put all the listings back to their pre-sale status (over 100 listings now, gak!) and then I’m going to clean house and pay any attention to my boutique for the rest of the day — the store can just go suck it without me for awhile.

  4. gt281 December 1, 2009 at 7:43 PM #

    I’d send Puff over to brigthen your day but he has
    a mailbag stuck between his teeth and tends to fly in
    circles when he can’t floss….

    • Faerie♥Kat December 2, 2009 at 8:40 AM #

      Poor Puff! Mailmen are hard to digest; he should stick to Hungarian dwarf stew, bourbon and potatoes with eyes. Hmm, my appetite is suddenly returning…

  5. Nicole December 1, 2009 at 8:26 PM #

    I’m sorry you’re feeling down!! I am saving up to get one of those nifty tarot bags 🙂 Money is just tight right now 😦
    Meanwhile google still has my website blocked which is depressing me… I can’t blog and I actually really really want to… they haven’t un-blocked it yet 😦


    • Faerie♥Kat December 2, 2009 at 9:03 AM #

      Sweet Nik

      Yes, you ARE going to get one of those “nifty tarot bags,” but only as a Yuletide gift! Go look at this post and tell me what color you want (there are 13 to pick from; hold your cursor over the square to see the name of the color):


      And send me the addy so I can write to Google, too. This is ridiculous on their part.


      • Nicole December 3, 2009 at 12:40 AM #

        Awwwww <333 you're so sweet 😀 Are you sure?????? I do like the Purple-Dark Deep Fuchsia 😀 Thank you soooo much 😀


        • Faerie♥Kat December 3, 2009 at 12:04 PM #

          Oh, good choice, and I have TONS of that color. When it’s ready, I’ll email you to get your address. Mwah!

  6. hidingplainsight December 2, 2009 at 12:25 AM #

    Aw. Man. I have to say that I had a similar experience a couple years ago. Folks love to look at my stuff but they don’t buy it especially in these hard financial times. I finally sold my stuff over a long period of time or gave it away over a less long period of time.

    I made the decision many years ago, and had to remake it, that I only now make stuff for love or a 50% down deposit IF I feel like making the commission, which most of the time I don’t feel like it.

    Yup, my stuff is usually made as a gift or for my home or starts for my home and finds another one.

    I get much more happiness out of that than bringing the matter of money into my art.


    • Faerie♥Kat December 2, 2009 at 9:14 AM #

      I hear you, sweetie. I didn’t start making the jewelry with an aim to selling it; I thought I’d be returning to work and I’d wear it, but that isn’t going to happen. None of my local friends are clothes, makeup or jewelry junkies like myself (opposites do attract, I guess), or I’d dump it all on them. It would have been easier if I could have done that with my work clothes, but I sold those on eBay last year for ridiculously low prices — but they were gently worn, so I thought, eh, what else could be expected? I never even got a chance to wear this jewelry. Life gets very simple when you stay at home all the time — no need for fancy clothes, makeup or jewelry! I hesitated selling the jewelry because of the economy, but friends convinced me to give it a try and, frankly, my fixed income needed a boost, what with the fence falling down and the ceiling leaking. I know better than to let this shake me, but everything gathered together like a huge thunderstorm around my head Monday and then hit me with hurricane force. I’m fine today after sleeping nearly most of yesterday — my body was as exhausted as my mind.

      Thanks for taking the time to reach out — it makes a difference, truly.



      • hidingplainsight December 2, 2009 at 2:42 PM #

        aw. ah. I knew you had health issues but had assumed for some reason that you retired for other reasons. Yeah do I know about all that you describe. I really do know.

        I wish I had more to offer that that.

        I’m so glad you got lots of sleep.


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