Potty Talk – Just Say No!

26 Aug

DrowseyMonkey did a post on Brits admitting to being on the Internet while on the loo.  She always has a humorous slant on the peculiarities of our species, as do her readers, so you have to go read all about it.  One of her readers mentions people dropping their cell phones in the toilet, too.  The definition of acceptable behavior has dropped another notch.

I am a die-hard non-texter.  I refuse to send or receive text messages.  I have the same Verizon cell phone plan I had when I got my first cell phone umptity years ago (and consequently it’s still the same price, too).  Texting didn’t hardly exist then, so my plan only allows me a certain number of text characters a month or something, but I had Verizon block the function entirely so I hardly care.  I get tons of free long distance minutes and I (gasp) use my cell phone mostly as a phone.  I also use it as an iPod, an alarm clock/reminder, and a calculator, but none of those functions cost additional money.

I have this blog, I have a MySpace account, and I have both a cell phone and a land-line telephone.  I have email and a television.  How many other ways do I need to keep in touch with the rest of humanity?  These avenues take a sufficient amount of my time as it is.  When I want to communicate with someone, my first choice is usually to talk to them face-to-face.  If that isn’t possible, I reach for the phone and call them.  If I don’t have a phone number, I send an email that is longer than 160 characters and contains whole words and sentences with real punctuation and grammar.  If I don’t have an email address, I visit their blog or MySpace.  Beyond that, I write a post.

I leap right over that black hole that holds texting, tweeting and IMing.  This is not to say that I haven’t texted or IMed in the distant past.  A few of those times resulted in misunderstandings (one quite serious) because of things like lag time, misspellings, brevity of the format, misjudgment of tone, etc.  I found these avenues of communication unworthy of the effort involved.  I can see how people who like to hide behind anonymity would love them, though.

I have a Twitter account, too, but I only update it when someone requests to be subscribed (which reminds me that I have a Twitter account).  Obviously, me having a Twitter account is doing me and my subscribers as much good as Obama’s third eye is doing him right now.  Real Tweeters apparently text every little thought they have via cell phone into Twitter and receive every Tweeted thought from their subscriptions the same way.  Cell phone companies charge big bucks every month so people can have unlimited texting and, even in this economy, people obviously aren’t giving up this luxury – it’s turned from a “want” to a “need” and people justify it in various ways, but the most common is the “need to keep track of the children.”  But let’s not get me started on children having cell phones and texting (and how it’s screwing up their ability to spell, speak, punctuate and use grammar, etc.).  My mind will explode into tiny fragments that will embed themselves in your eyes right through the screen.  And since I am a nice witch, I wish to refrain from maiming my readers in such an ugly manner (or in any manner, in fact).

As a computer program and Internet addict myself, I completely understand the texting and tweeting addict.  Thankfully, however, my addiction takes place on a platform too large to haul into the porcelain throne room.  You can rest assured, therefore, that my hands (if not my thoughts) are completely clean and that I have just said “No!” to potty talk.


4 Responses to “Potty Talk – Just Say No!”

  1. Saje August 26, 2009 at 10:14 PM #

    I think I am the last person on the planet to not own a cell phone. All hail, the technologically unreliant!

    • Faerie♥Kat August 27, 2009 at 1:34 PM #

      Just think how we are going to run the world when all that technology suddenly fails and we are the only ones who can operate by pen and paper! —– Original Message —–

  2. DrowseyMonkey August 27, 2009 at 12:01 AM #

    “Thankfully, however, my addiction takes place on a platform too large to haul into the porcelain throne room.” LOL! I love that line. hahaha

    Thanks for the shout-out. 🙂

    I’m not a texter either, mostly because I can’t see the little letters on the phone 😉 But also I can’t be bothered and its ridiculously expensive. We don’t need to hear every thought that flies thru someone’s brain at that very moment. I do enjoy the twitter tho – but I only do that when I’m near an actual computer. And never in the washroom!

    • Faerie♥Kat August 27, 2009 at 1:32 PM #

      Heya Drowsy!

      I started to leave a comment on your post, but as you can see it would have been rather long and I didn’t come up with a good punch line until very late in the game. Your post was da bomb, BTW. Heck, your blog is da bomb!

      Luvs ya,

      Kat —– Original Message —–

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