Summary of Life

20 Jan

My younger sister sent me this e-mail; thanks, Lil Kit!

GREAT TRUTHS LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

  1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
  2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
  3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back; the second kid always gets caught.
  4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
  6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  10. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

  1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
  2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.
  3. Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.
  4. Today’s mighty oak is yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
  5. Laughing is good exercise; it’s like jogging on the inside.
  6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

  1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
  2. Forget the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get.
  3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
  4. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair you once got from a roller coaster.
  5. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  6. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
  7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE

  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS THROUGH THE YEARS

  1. At age   4 success is…not piddling in your pants.
  2. At age 12 success is…having friends.
  3. At age 17 success is…having a drivers license.
  4. At age 35 success is…having money.
  5. At age 50 success is…having money.
  6. At age 70 success is…having a drivers license.
  7. At age 75 success is…having friends.
  8. At age 80 success is…not piddling in your pants.

piddle

5 Responses to “Summary of Life”

  1. Enna January 20, 2009 at 4:18 PM #

    This was very cute!

  2. Marvin January 20, 2009 at 4:18 PM #

    I like “Never hold a DustBuster and a cat at the same time.” How very, very painfully true.

    • Faerie♥Kat January 20, 2009 at 4:29 PM #

      I don’t know which I find harder to believe: A cat let you hold it or you
      picked up a DustBuster!

      > [Original Message]
      >

  3. Nicole January 20, 2009 at 4:27 PM #

    Hi, My name is Nicole. I randomly found your site on google while searching for faerie info.. I am wiccan, and I follow the faerie path as well! Nice to meet you! I like your post esp this part:

    “When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.”

    That is very very true lol!

    *~Nicole.

    • Faerie♥Kat January 20, 2009 at 4:42 PM #

      Hi Nicole

      Thanks for stopping by!

      I ran right over and peeked at your site — what a delightful place you’ve
      built. I can see you’re well on your way in the area of web design and
      will be a great success.

      Good luck with your studies and enjoy this time in your life to its
      fullest. Your thoughts on intellectualism are brilliant and I’m so pleased
      to know that people like yourself will build the future.

      Fondest faerie blessings

      Kat

      > [Original Message]
      >

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