Why, Why, Why?

19 Feb
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”?
  • If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
  • Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
  • When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you stupid idiot?”
  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
  • In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And the author’s FAVORITE……

  • The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.

Thx Gary!

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4 Responses to “Why, Why, Why?”

  1. gt281 February 19, 2008 at 7:35 PM #

    My fiends are not OK,, I’ve seen their
    family album…So I must be the one
    thats sane…Thank goodness I found that out,,
    now I can stop sending myself E-grams that I
    never answer………

  2. Faerie♥Kat February 19, 2008 at 8:09 PM #

    So, if you’re okay and I’m okay, who do we know that’s not?

  3. gt281 February 19, 2008 at 8:33 PM #

    I don’t know about you,, but that guy who
    keeps staring at me while I’m shaving is sure
    strange…

  4. Catz February 19, 2008 at 9:56 PM #

    Very good Kat. I loved it. Most of them are so true!

    Catz

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