Fun for Lexophiles

15 Jan

Lexophile: A lover of cryptic words.

  • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  • To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  • When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
  • The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  • A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
  • A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
  • Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
  • We’ll never run out o f math teachers because they always multiply.
  • When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  • The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  • The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  • If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
  • A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  • A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
  • A will is a dead giveaway.
  • A backward poet writes inverse.
  • In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
  • With her marri age she got a new name and a dress.
  • Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
  • When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
  • Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
  • He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
  • A calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.
  • Lexophiles do it with letters.

Some [old] people might call these puns.

Thx to Sandy for this email.

Digg!

One Response to “Fun for Lexophiles”

  1. Gwen January 15, 2008 at 3:06 PM #

    These certainly brought a smile to my face! Thanks! 🙂
    –Gwen

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: